To the Still-Suffering Addict

I did my first step presentation at my 12 step group on Sunday night.

Nearly the entire meeting was taken up with my story.  The usual format of no crosstalk was dropped, once my presentation was over with, and any who wanted to comment or ask questions were allowed to do so, and I was allowed to respond candidly.

It was interesting how nearly everyone pointed out similarities with their own stories.  And of course, as usual, the dread of opening up of the very most personal parts of my life was met with understanding and compassion rather than condemnation.

I received an anonymous e-mail response recently to my blog.  It was from a professional, like myself, who struggles with similar issues.  The tone of his e-mail was completely familiar.  Fear and embarrassment, frustration, not knowing how to best proceed to tackle the issue of m/b & porn.  He is single in his late twenties, and wants to take care of it before considering marriage.  I admire his willingness to look for answers, and to resolve it before bringing another person into the mix.  One need only read the blogs of spouses to understand the ramifications of doing that.  He has found this blog-ring, and expressed a desire to learn from the posts.  I recommended Rowboat and Marbles first, because Andrew's blog has been the most helpful of all to me.  So anonymous, don't give up!  The solution is out there, and it's not nearly as painful as what you are going through now.

The other night, as we were preparing to close the clinic, one of the medical assistants asked me if we could take another walk-in.  I said "That will put us into overtime."  She said "OK"  and started to walk away and I asked her "What is it?"  and she answered "A girl with an earache."  "How old?" I asked.  "Five." she responded.  I told her to go ahead and put her through.  Later, when I went into the room, I asked the little girl what was wrong and she just burst into tears, dripping down her cheeks and onto her pants and said "My ear hurts!"  In that moment my heart filled with compassion.  I was so thankful that I had chosen to see her!  I was able to put in some anesthetic drops and give her a dose of Motrin and an antibiotic prescription.  Before she left she was smiling again.

That experience has caused me to reflect on the suffering addict, and my ability to respond to those who come seeking help.  Each week as part of our meeting, we pause for a moment of silence and prayer on behalf of the still-suffering addict. I now know of an effective treatment; one that can quickly begin to soothe the pain and suffering, and lift the spirits.  All it takes is for the suffering one to come to "the clinic", willing to follow "the prescription".  

Love, Dan