Credibility

I had an affirming experience at work today. 

I am a non-physician health-care provider, a PA.  I see patients four days a week in 10 hour shifts.  I figure that I have had at least 10,000 patient encounters in the past 4 years.  I ask patients questions about smoking and alcohol consumption, among other things.

Today I interviewed a very pleasant 40ish yr. old patient for a routine physical and asked her about smoking.  She admitted to 2 packs/day.  Her boyfriend was with her and confirmed the amount.  I was a little bit surprised, because she looked pretty good in spite of the heavy smoking.  Then I asked her about her consumption of alcohol.  She said that she usually had about a 12-pack of beer.  "You mean, per week?" I asked.  "No, every day." she responded. Then I said "They told us in school that one could usually safely double the amount that people admit to.  Is that true in your case?"  "Yes." she said.  I then gently asked her if anyone had ever mentioned to her that her drinking might be a problem.  "Yes." she admitted.  So obviously, it would be an understatement to say that she has a drinking problem. 

So all of that is routine, and pretty much what I am expected to do.  Then came the part that was new for me, and pretty cool.  She was obviously reaching out for help by admitting the extent of the problem.  Perhaps she could sense my non-judgemental attitude.  I responded to her as I would hope someone would respond to me if I confessed my own addictions.  I told her that there was a 12 step meeting of alcoholics anonymous in town.  I looked her in the eye and admitted to her that I had my own addictions and went to a twelve step meeting every week and that it was really changing my life.  I could see the wheels beginning to turn in her head and her countenance soften.  From that point on, she seemed to take every word I said very seriously, as if she intended to take all of my advice. 

So, maybe that doesn't really sound that exciting to you!  To me though, it represents a real change.  It is the start of moral authority, or credibility.  My prior, actively addicted self would have had virtually none of it.  As I identify more and more with recovery, and less and less with active addiction, fear is leaving my life.  I am preparing myself for the day when people ask me about my addiction and recovery.  I know that it is just a matter of time before someone I know reads this blog.  I intend to be ready with answers to what before would have been extremely uncomfortable questions.  I am actually looking forward to being able to explain the reasons I have to hope, and to be ready to steer them into the right paths.